Do I take myself too seriously?

I have always been caring and mature. I take pride in being organised and concidered about what I do and when I do it.

I am careful about where I spend my energy and I keep a paper diary with me wherever I go.

But, sometimes I feel that this makes me too uptight, am I too rigid, intimidating even? I am meant to be young and fun-loving. Am I boring?

This has been an over-thinking battle of mine that has gone on for years, in fact even when I was 6, I remember feeling left out because I was too ‘serious’, as friends would want to stay up all night chatting at a sleepover, I’d want to be going to sleep so that I wasn’t too tired for our dance class the next day.

It has taken me a long time, a lot of tears and some deep reflection to find some peace in the chaos that this thinking has caused me and I’d like to share with you what has helped most.

Here are my favourite Lil tips and Tricks

As much as we are hoping to get out of a THINKING  mess, there is a powerful mindset shift that I keep hold of.

Sometimes a rational thought, especially when writen or said outloud, has the strength to overcome the saboteur. Here is one that has worked wonders for me…

“I am not either one or the other, I can be both, concidered and fun-loving, although they aren’t similar traights they can both be traights of mine. A lil woo woo phrase I heard once that reminds me of this is: “you hold multitudes” “

Then I have some practical tricks up my sleeve that are essentials for me to not end up in a spiral that I know this thought battle can cause me (i.e. screaming and crying to my mum on the kitchen floor about wether or not to go to a party) - yes that has happened, and was more recent than 6 years old 😅

Somatic exercises

 As the tantruming would suggest, it’s evident that I have feelings tied to these thoughts, so I find it’s important to express these feelings. This is so they don’t all come out in one unmanageable go. What’s difficult is that we can’t always put our finger on what we are feeling as we get muddled in thought.

Somatic exercises are super useful in these cases because really there are two types and you can find a favourite of each, give them both a go and one of them is likely to help! I will write about this in more detail in following emails and post about it on my socials because it’s an entire topic in itself.

But for now, I’d like you to know my favourites that work for me. As I said, there are two categories- energetic releases and energetic rejuvenators

The first we use to expel anxious energy when we feel overwhelmed and are in fight. For this, I like to scrunch my fists into tight balls or if I am somewhere I can, I will tense up my whole body, I do it till I feel fatigue (20 seconds ish) and then I release and sigh out. Sometimes once is enough and sometimes I do it for 5 mins, but it always works wonders.

The Latter is for when you feel drained by your thoughts, lethargic or even paralysided, for this one, I use a compassionate somatic tool, I clasp my hands and stroke them. This works because the reason I am in this state is fear and fighting fear with too much force just makes it coward away further most of the time. Instead, I need to allow myself to feel vunerable for a moment and then I have courage to get myself out.

Visualisation

The next in a visualisation lil moment that I made for myself, I use it before an event which I am nervous about going to, it doesn’t always work because sometimes my mind is too restless, in these cases I use the previous exercise first and then try this one again. Or I don’t and go to the event anxious!

Writing

Write a pros and cons or what if and then list. These two are brilliant, you know how much I love to write. After talking to others, I find it the best way to untangle thoughts. These two work wonders when I’ve attached a particular decision to this thinking loop.

I don’t promise that any of these will work for you first time, or even at all but with practice and an open mind, I’m pretty certain they will!

Please let me know how you get on, I am here to listen as much as I am here to share and I really appreciate hearing from you!

Love from Lil