Although I speak about how unhelpful our hyper-achievers are, I am still often caught out by mine. When I let my hyper-achiever run the show, my mood is dependent on how productive I think I am. And the catch is, nothing is productive enough to be content.

Friday 29th- I cried to my sister this morning about how sad I am to still be ill and having to rest. Today, I needed her to point out the obvious to me- “Lil, the universe is bringing you what you need. You haven’t given yourself the rest and so it’s forcing you into it. It’s a blessing Lil, even though it doesn’t feel like it now.”

What is ironic is I had said very similar to her a week ago when she was ill.

What is crazy is how blinding our hyper-achievers can be. It can fool us into thinking we are different or even better than everyone else, that the rules of life that keep everyone sane and healthy don’t apply to us. Oh how fooled we can be! 

What I did to overcome mine this week:

I am afraid you won’t love me for this, I didn’t love my sister for suggesting it to me at the time either.

I needed to surrender to what was being blatantly rubbed in my face- I NEEDED REST.

For three days prior fought my flu, taking pain killers and cough syrup to keep up with my usual daily activities and by the end of each day I was just a little bit more ill and a little bit more afraid that the next day I wouldn’t be able to do everything I wanted to. Until day 4, I crashed and I cried- Friday!

Bring in the wise Lil sis Gracie!

I suppose it was a culmination of things, one was the loving care from my sister, the other was the physical boundary that came up and the third, I must give myself credit for… it was choice.

I chose to surrender to it.

This wasn’t rationalising with my saboteur “oh but think about how you will be less productive tomorrow the more you push it today.” Or “lily, just take a longer break now and then you can crack on again tomorrow.”

This wasn’t cancelling one plan for a nap so that I could do the thing that evening.

This was ACKNOWLEDGE, ADMIT, SURRENDER

I acknowledged that I was petrified of having to stop, I admitted what I was feeling was painful, I surrendered to the feelings and I proved the bully wrong.

ACKNOWLEDGE

• That I was petrified of what it meant to stop

• That what was driving me was my hyper-achiever

ADMIT

• That I hated what I had to do

• That I felt hurt by feelings triggered when having to be still and ‘unproductive’

SURRENDER

• I felt it!

• I let myself rot in bed and I let myself hate it

Because in the end… I was ok, more than ok, I healed so quickly, in mind and body and I proved that stupid Saboteur that it is wrong.

I don’t tell you this to excuse the behaviour, and I especially don’t tell you this to frighten you. I do it to remind you that I know how it feels. It takes so much strength and will power to overcome our saboteurs, especially when what they are saying is so encouraged by the world around us. I am sure you have heard of toxic-productivity.

As I write this, I am already in judgement of myself again, “bloody hell Lil, you are writing about proving your hyper-achiever wrong and yet since feeling better you have launched yourself back into doing full guns blazing.” This is true, my hyper-achiever is pushing me to do catch-up already!

However! I have a Lil loving voice in my head that is reminding me of how uncomfortable it was to HAVE to stop last week and there is a gentle hint of caution about me. Enough for it never to happen again? Unlikely! But enough to keep building on and to inspire me to keep practicing proving my bully wrong? Absolutely!

This week’s Lil Challenge

For this week, we are going to do a hyper-achiever boot camp. I am going to need you to hold me accountable, and I will you.

Set your challenge every morning and stick to it. We hyper-achievers are good at challenges… although this one is a lil different.

As ever, I am so keen to hear how you are getting on, dm me, email me or comment just here.