This one goes out to my brothers and my sisters…
In actual fact, I am speaking to both Grace and Sam, to most of my friends and to the waitress at the cafe I was in for lunch.
I wonder if you are sensing it too…? There seems to be a huge amount of uncertainty around. I know so many people who feel a bit lost at the moment, unsure of their next moves and not knowing where to start trekking.
My brother is feeling it now as he starts a new school, uncertain about whether he has made the right choice. My sister navigating GAP years and universities, my friends doubting module choices and whether uni is worth another year…. who to live with, who to date, how much to spend, how much to save, what career to follow now uni is finished, how to get a job, which job will be fulfilling and pay well…. To name just a few of the doubts floating around.
It is clear that once we finish GCSEs and the choices begin, the uncertainty begins and from then on there is an excuse for it wherever and whenever you look.
Over-thinkers have it worse!
Uncertainty is the perfect playing ground for an Over-thinker Saboteur to emerge. As answers are missing, lines blurred and options difficult to judge, over-thinking is bound to happen.
And yet, most of us don’t stay feeling like this forever because uncertainty EBS and FLOWS!
The truth is, time passes, things happen, we learn and we change and we adapt- EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US!
Even better news… we have an incredible ability of moving things along!
So let’s get into it.
The AWARENESS is pretty simple in this case, when you are fearful and uncertain- it’s pretty hard to miss.
But COMPASSION needs more effort! We must allow ourselves to feel the fear and uncertainty- allowing ourselves to feel scared rather than denying that it has effect on us and instead actively comforting ourselves.
There is a great Lil Moment on self-compassion on the Lil Leaps website
A Lil Challenge- sometimes I find the best form of self-compassion is to ask for help- reaching out to a friend or family member and asking to be comforted physically and emotionally. Sounds ironic but the truth is you have to believe you deserve help to ask for it properly and by doing so you show yourself a deep compassion. Try asking someone you trust to help comfort you through uncertainty this week-
P.S. BE CAREFUL- to specify you don’t want practical solutions or ideas- only physical and emotional support.
Now with compassion, we have energy and space to start to feel empowered.
EMPOWEREMENT takes time to come but once you have awareness and compassion, time does pass and you can make it come. The empowerement is the FLOW part to the ebs of uncertainty and to bring it about more swiftly- here are some Lil Tips
Empowering yourself to feel capable is important because it is unquestionable that when we believe we are able we are far more likely to attract good things, make progress find satisfying outcomes. It sounds woowoo but if you can cultivate the ‘energy’ you have in yourself to back yourself rather than fight yourself - you are going to go further!
Lil Prompt- YOU ARE WHERE YOU ARE MEANT TO BE
These are prompts to write about in your journal…
“If I was to believe that I was exactly where I was meant to be right now, I would believe that….”
“If I believed these things, I would think/do/be….”
Write down whatever comes to mind, really anything! Think about how you might walk/talk/dress what you might try and explore and how you might let yourself feel.
Lil Exercise - somatic empowerment- bear with me on this one!
Options: each of these work best alongside a phrase that you can say to yourself outloud or in your head, such as “I am exactly where I am meant to be right now.”
As soon as you wake up- take a deep breath through your nose and stand up, place your hands on your hips and nod to yourself.
Before going into an interview, a social gathering, an exam etc - punch the air three times as if you have just won the lottery
The simplest of all- smile to yourself.
These are somatic- they can feel very silly I do them and they work because our bodies are so active in signalling to our brains that when we act physically confident- our minds do really begin to feel it too.
I want to finish by adding…
I send a huge amount of love to those of you who are in the midsts of great uncertainty, particularly for the over-thinkers. I know the feelings all too well but the one MOST IMPORTANT thing that gets me through the ebbs - is the simple fact of life - that time passes, life happens, and “this too shall pass”.
