What, How and why?…
You don’t need me to explain what ImPOStEr SYndRoME feels like, we all know it far too well. Over-thinkers especially- we are prone to doubting how fit we are to be doing a job or taking part in a challenge.
WHAT Is Imposter Syndrome
If you think about it, it has no criteria or cut off for when it appears or not. It doesn’t just rear its head when the role you are taking has specific qualifications that you need, or a number of years experience that you must of had. In fact, imposter syndrome is cheeky, it often makes you believe in criteria that doesn’t even exist. (A form of box thinking)
HOW does imposter syndrome work?
Imposter syndrome is felt when you are already doing or involved in the job/task/group. The feeling that you don’t deserve to be doing or saying what you are- comes only once you are in the position that you are able to say and do what you are doing…. So hang on a second…
what this shows us, is that Imposter syndrome is very much a self-sabotaging tool.
WHY do we have the bloody thing then?
Because, as you know, we have Lil Saboteurs… pesky voices in our head that try to get in the way of what we are doing. The saboteurs are super fearful and although they hide behind rational seeming concepts, rules and advice- they are almost entirely irrational and unhelpful.
I want you to consider your Imposter as your saboteur in one of its costumes.
And now let’s tackle it!
3 steps, you know the drill….we are going to work through them together
AWARENESS
This is always step one- let’s make things easier with a Lil exercise I often use.
LIL EXERCISE: Get a pen and paper or open up a tab on notes on your phone/laptop. Work through these questions by writing down anything and everything that comes to mind, no rights or wrongs!
When did I last feel like an imposter? - (if not the last time, a vivid time.)
What did that FEEL like? Sweaty palms? Constant dread? Hopeless?
What ‘evidence’ did my imposter have that I was not suited to the role?
What criteria did the role ACTUALLY have? A certain exam results? Years of experience? Qualification? Background? Age? - if any.
What part of the criteria did I ACTUALLY not meet? - if any.
How did I get the role/myself in this position? Did you fill all the criteria? Did you prove your spot in another way? Did you create an opportunity for yourself? Did you persuade someone that you could?
If from that exercise, it hasn’t become clear to you that your imposter is somewhat irrational- LET ME REMIND YOU…. YOU WERE IN THAT ROLE/PLACE/POSITION AT THE TIME YOU FELT YOU SHOULDN’T.
And so the truth is, for whatever reason- complicated, cheeky, forced, natural or risky- you were there doing and saying and being for a reason. And the truth is that this imposter isn’t going to make life easier, you better suited to what you are doing, or really any good at all.
And if it isn’t clear enough to you yet, it is JUST A FEAR. Fear that you will make a mistake? Fear that people will catch you out? Fear that you will let yourself or someone else down? - jot down what fears you think you have when Imposter pops up.
Can we boil them down to one? Yes I think so! We are scared that ‘we aren’t enough’.
Brilliant! Well, not brilliant that we have that fear, but brilliant because we are AWARE of it, and that is ½ the battle!
Next step? - COMPASSION
This is a Lil Extra for you- your imposter is a Saboteur that you can outsmart too.
You may have done it before if you are an OG Lil leapser, give it a go anyway- imposter style.
Last but far from least step- EMPOWERMENT
I actually think this is the best step- once we are aware and have comforted the fear, we have space and energy to start to build confidence.
Empowerment in the action which we need to take when we feel fearful or anxious in order to develop confidence.
Empowering yourself through thought management is one way of doing it…
We seek evidence to prove our beliefs right, so let’s work backwards…
Set the beliefs that would make you empowered
Find the evidence to support that
This might seem a bit forced or artificial at first but it is the way to start, the more you practice it, the more natural it will feel and before long you will believe and feel more empowered- without any facts changing!
Write down three beliefs that would help you to feel that you are where you are meant to be… e.g. I am inquisitive and keen to learn. Or, my intentions are simply kind, caring and good.
Build the evidence bank- this is where the real power lies. There is ample evidence to prove your strength and worth, it just takes a lil shift in perspective- like taking off dark glasses.
A) in a lot of cases its as simple as… we have put ourselves in this position for a reason, be it from persuading, cutting corners, ticking boxes or even subconsciously… we are here now and therefore for one reason or another we deserve to be there.
B) what is it that drove you to start or get involved in this thing you now feel impostery about? Did someone suggest it to you? Is there a quality of yours that drove you to it? Is there something you like or are interested in that brought you to it? Write a list of the actual reasons you
C) what skills have you got that you can leverage in this position?
D) what can you get excited about working on in order to feel more suited to the role? A new skill? A daily/weekly habit?
E) what about this job/situation is a challenge to you that you want to overcome? How can you overcome it- write three actionable steps.
The theory behind this is simple, act the part and you will begin to feel it. Uncomfortable at first but keep going and you will discover too that it isn’t just a theory!
Let me know how you get on!
There are more Lil Helps and other simple life changing insights in past posts on my website, have a look….
