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When the Goal Posts just Keep Moving
Think of the thousands of tasks, goals, challenges you have set yourself, at work, in free time, for personal development, for validation, to feel successful.
Now think of how many times you have truly felt successful…
Our Hyper-achiever HIDES behind a life full of goals, and behind the illusion that these goals are set for our sense of happiness and fulfilment.
Our Hyper-achiever tells us that it is thanks to our UNLIMITED DRIVE for success that we are accomplished people.
Yet, have you noticed that whenever you reach the goal you have set…rather than a sense of achievement (or maybe after a fleeting one if you are lucky)… you are bombarded by judgements about why it wasn’t good enough and already busy searching for the next goal you can set.
I BET you have even said some of these outloud, when someone tries to congratulate you?
“Thanks, but I didn’t do it by myself”
“If only I had done it a bit faster”
“Turns out it wasn’t as hard of a challenge as I thought, anyone could have done it”
Good news!
The good news is… YOU can change it.
Our brains have built habits but are our brains are malleable. ‘Neural plasticity’ is the psychological term given to the ability for our brains to form new routes of thought AND we can actually direct these ourselves.
This really is a SUPER-POWER but so many people are unaware of it and are still bound hopelessly by their hyper-achievers, with the beliefs that there is no other option for them.
Don’t let that be you! - get going with these Lil Tricks below…
Practicing praise:
This is one of the most effective ways I have found to redirect my thinking from hyper-achieving downward spiral, to rational and confident.
Sounds nice right? Honestly, it’s mega uncomfortable at first but you will get the hang of it.
Attached is the Lil Leaps Help-sheet that will walk you through the simple steps of this exercise. (Notice it’s written by hand. I like to push my perfectionist, and show you that you can too!)
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The meta struggle here is when our over-thinkers joins in too…
Then, even with the understanding we have and the alternative way of thinking, we can get stuck in a ping pong debate over which is the right thing to believe.
This is especially when a Lil moment is needed! The Lil Moments are designed to cool down your nervous system and this one specifically gives you no other option than to listen to the kind voice. We can still have judgements but we let them go and then we direct our attention to the (uncomfortable, but) empowering new way of speaking to ourselves. We are doing the neural plasticity re-wiring stuff!
Now what are you thinking? Send me a comment, let’s untangle your mind!
There are more Lil Helps and other simple life changing insights in past posts on my website, have a look….
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