Today I am speaking to the over-thinkers and hyper-achievers who never feel settled. The ones that seem to be constantly seeking the next thing and worried that they lack determination.
I must confess… I tend to get bored of things quickly.
An attribute that many creative and busy-minded people share, so I through to delve into it a Lil today.
“You won’t ever finish anything good cause you can’t stick to it”
But what if there was more to the story?
I have worked with my Lil Lover on this and I have a few Lil thoughts and Lil Tricks to share that I think might help.
First of all — The box.
I want to highlight the power that building little boxes around ourselves really has. I have done it already and we are only 100 words in. I said that I am someone who gets bored of things quickly. Now don’t get me wrong, I have and continue to get bored of projects, places (and even people) more often than not.
HOWEVER, and this is the important point, by saying that I am someone who gets bored of things quickly and can’t stick at things, I automatically build 4 walls around myself and make it far harder for me or anyone else to see anything else as true.
This metaphorical box refers to a psychological trick that we play on ourselves- often led by our over-thinkers (who are desperately trying to simplify things)- which is known by some as ‘self-fulfilling proficies’.
I am sure that you get the idea already, it is simple… when we label ourselves as having a certain TRAIT, or being a certain KIND of person- we are far more likely to pick up on our own behaviours which reinforce this and so believe it more. In fact we behave more and more in ways specifically to do so too. Because we like to be right! Well I know I do.
I have fallen into this habit hole many times, it seems particularly the case for how I feel about my work ethic. My over-thinker has been quick to build walls around the idea that I don’t stick at things for long.
I believe that my life fits into boxes- is a post I wrote about this Lil theory— please have a read if you haven’t already or need reminding because it’s a super topic. But for now, I use it mostly as a reminder that….
There are often more truths than one
This is a Lil Exercise I use when my Lil Lurker is loud, when I need reminding that there are more truths than one.
Now we are going to use it to untangle the idea that we are not determined.
Truth | Other Truths |
|---|---|
I often get bored of projects quickly | I often come up with exciting new projects |
My focus tends to shift | I dont’t tend to get bogged down on one thing for too long |
I am known for having a million things on at once- spreading myself too thin | I am conscious not to overrun myself despite liking a busy schedule |
I constantly need stimulation so can be demanding | I like being stimulated, so I seek energetic environments |
I am fast processing so things don’t tend to keep me entertained for long | I am fast processing so I tend to get the hang of things quite quickly |
I am a high energy person and am at risk of burning out. | I tend to be very energetic but like all humans, this energy ebbs and flows. |
By highlighting both truths, we not only prove the pesky Lil Saboteurs wrong but we are practicing breaking down the walls of unhelpful boxes.
See, we aren’t just correcting or re-framing these things we believe to be true about ourselves, instead we are accepting them and providing another truth to accompany it.
This is a form of brain-rewiring, we are choosing to take the less easy route- the path less trodden in our minds, one that doesn’t necessarily agree with the simplest option.
Let me acknowledge that this can seem a faff and an inconvenience, not to mention the threat of increased mind tangle. But I want to reassure you that this Lil Trick has worked wonders for me. Simply because of the format and concept that the lists provide…. That both truths are true, and equally so.
We are giving our minds permission to stop seeking ‘the right answer’ and this is something gives me and my over-thinker an incredible amount of respite.
Give it a go yourself, be it for this particular brain tangle or another….
Though sometimes all you need is a Lil Reminder
The collective truths Lil Exercise led me to a few key Lil Reminders that I come back to, re-write and have in my notes of my phone
There is great value in my creativity.
I have great strength in idea making, problem solving and innovation.
Each project or idea teaches me something new,(it might be about what works, what doesn’t, who I meet, what I don’t like or how I feel)
I can make the most of my high energy when it comes and know that It will ebb and flow.
Another quick thing
We have done a lot of cognitive stuff today, here is a Lil moment to help you tackle your saboteur- if it just won’t budge and you’re stuck in the spiral…. It will be particularly useful.
Now what are you thinking? Where are you still tangled and what has become a Lil clearer?
There are more Lil Helps and other simple life changing insights in past posts on my website, have a look….
